Books That Will Change the Way You See Yourself, Others, and the World
Over the years, I’ve collected books that have shifted the way I think about relationships—with myself, with others, and with the environments I move through every day. Some of these came into my life at just the right time and provided me with language for feelings I didn’t know how to explain at the time, and knowledge necessary to make informed decisions that I wasn’t confident enough to make before. Many of these books even inspired me to study Psychology and Social Work as a career. All of them taught me practical skills that I still use myself, and with clients today.
Hence, I present my first book list! This list isn’t about providing you with “quick fixes.” Trust me, if you read through one or all of them as fast as you can without retaining anything, you will feel no different than when you started. Rather, I offer you this list of books to be used as tools that can help you build self-awareness, regulate emotions, improve communication, and strengthen relationships. Whether you’re in a season of healing, growth, or simply searching for new perspectives, these reads can offer guidance and encouragement along the way.
Without further ado, here is the list with a short description with insight as to what you may find in each book, and how it can help you build skills and patterns to meet your goals:
A Kinder Voice – Therese Jacobs-Stewart
This book is a gentle invitation to reframe the harsh inner critic we all carry in our minds. The author blends mindfulness and compassion-based practices to help us replace self-judgment with curiosity and kindness. I recommend it to clients who struggle with negative self-talk and perfectionism because it teaches practical ways to soften that inner dialogue and reason with that voice that can be so relentless at times.
You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay
My coach introduced this to me years ago. This is a classic for anyone on a healing journey. Hay connects the mind-body relationship in a way that feels empowering, reminding us that our thoughts and beliefs shape our physical and emotional health. Clients who are working on self-worth and self-compassion often find this book transformative because it opens the door to creating new, healthier internal narratives. I have come to a ton of powerful epiphanies regarding somatic healing and trauma after reading this book. This book is worth having simply for the list at the end of the book that consists of TONS of common diseases and ailments, from cancer to ingrown toenails, the common limiting belief or feeling associated with that ailment, and alternative positive affirmations for healing. If you like affirmations, you NEED this book.
Verbal Judo – George J. Thompson
Written by a former English professor turned police officer, this book teaches the art of communication as a tool for de-escalation and influence. It demonstrates how to use words to connect instead of divide, even in high-stress situations. This is another great one for those who struggle with conflict, communication at work, or difficult family dynamics. For example, parenting and responding to difficult behaviors in children. In my clinical work, I’ve seen many people often find this book incredibly practical and useful.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson
Blunt, honest, and refreshingly unpolished, this book is a personal favorite of mine because it strips away the idea that we need to care about everything. Manson reminds us that our time and energy are limited, and we get to decide what’s truly worth our attention. For people who struggle with people-pleasing, comparison, or burnout, this often feels like a wake-up call that helps shift priorities in a healthy way. His snarky humor makes the hard truths easier to take, offering buddy-style support while also hitting you with lines like: You are not so special that your problems are unique to you—and maybe it’s selfish to think they are.
Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach
This is one of the most grounding books I’ve ever read. Radical acceptance is also one of my favorite DBT skills to teach in therapy and coaching, despite it being one of the most difficult for people to grasp. Role playing radical acceptance is just so silly sometimes. In this book, Brach combines mindfulness and compassion to help us stop resisting our flaws and instead embrace ourselves as we are. For anyone who feels “stuck” or caught in cycles of self-criticism, this book can feel like a breath of fresh air. I’ve seen clients with harsh inner critics, even those struggling with major depression or suicidal thoughts, shift from shame into self-compassion through this practice. For many, it becomes the moment where healing finally within their grasp.
The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
This book is a work by the fantastic Brené Brown, which explores how vulnerability and shame are central to embracing authenticity. This book is really refreshing, encouraging the reader to let go of perfectionism and lean into courage, compassion, and connection. I recommend it to anyone who feels “not enough” in their daily lives, because it offers both the language and the encouragement to finally let go of impossible standards and step into a more authentic version of yourself.
The Next Conversation – Jefferson Fisher
Another recommendation from my own coach. This book by Jefferson Fisher is known for making communication skills simple, clear, and effective. It is excellent for couples to read together, but valuable to anyone interested in having better conversations. In this book, Fisher emphasizes the power of focusing not on rehashing the last argument but on choosing the next conversation: one that builds connection instead of conflict. I recommend it to anyone working on conflict resolution, difficult conversations, or breaking the cycle of miscommunication in relationships.
How to Love Better – Yung Pueblo
Known for his accessible wisdom on healing and growth, Yung Pueblo offers a deep look into what it really means to love—yourself, your partner, and others—in healthier, more authentic ways. This book helps individuals untangle patterns of attachment, ego, and fear while showing that real love comes from inner clarity and emotional maturity. It’s perfect for those learning boundaries, emotional regulation, and how to cultivate relationships rooted in respect rather than control. I haven’t even finished this one yet but I picked it up because I had to have it, and so far it hasn’t steered me wrong!
Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel so hard sometimes, this book breaks down Bowlby’s attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized), how they are developed early in life, and how they play out in love and friendships later in our lives. Clients often report that this book was the first time they felt “seen” in their patterns, which makes it easier to grow beyond them.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
This book is essential for those who are working on saying “no” without guilt, protecting their energy, and maintaining healthier relationships. Tawwab provides real scripts and strategies that make boundary-setting feel doable, not overwhelming. This is a great one for anyone who feels drained from overcommitting or stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns, because it teaches that boundaries are not walls, rather, they’re pathways to inner peace, mutual respect, and more authentic connections with others.
Final Thoughts
The books on this list don’t just give information—when used with intention, they offer keys to transformation. Each one challenges you to see yourself and your relationships with more clarity, compassion, and courage. If you know you’re ready for change and willing to shake things up to make your goals and dreams possible, these reads are for you.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this kind of work, these books are a great place to start. And if you’d like extra support applying these lessons in your own life, that’s where coaching comes in—I’d love to walk alongside you on that journey. At Soul Ascension Coaching, I help people reconnect with themselves and build healthier patterns, set boundaries, and develop tools for emotional regulation and resilience.
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